Do you ever...?

Hey people
Does anyone ever feel a bit lost in their day to day lives? It's almost as though on the odd occasion you "wake up" and realise that nothing is happening, that your life is dull and empty and the daily routine never changes. I think we ponder on this for a while, and may even make a pledge to do something about it, but more often than not, these thoughts get suppressed and you go back to the unconscious reality that is normal life.

This is not to say we cannot be happy with our lives - I love my family and friends and am very glad to have them, and there are many great moments that I have, which are usually spent with one or the other, that make me feel truly happy, and I think it is these small moments that help us get through the day to day drearyness (couldn't decide between the y or an i there, never spelt this word and didn't care enough to check it out, but did care enough to write this long explanation haha lol).
I think part of this can be seen when you have something to look forward to - you spend all your time thinking about this "thing" that you fail to notice what's happening right now. Everyone knows they do this as wishing for an exciting thing to come is often followed by someone else saying that 'you're wishing your life away' and I think this is very true. Though I am extremely guilty of this - currently seen by me emailing Becca once a week to say how many weeks it is til we go to Texas - which stands at 10 weeks at the moment, but started at about 15. 15 weeks of my life just wished away, that's a hell of a long time, and when you drag yourself back to the present, you realise that there are loads of little things coming up in the much nearer future that you can look forward to but it's usually the "big" things that take precedent.

To be fair to the argument of wishing your life away, it's generally not fun to be living in the present, which is mostly taken up with work. You will probably only find a small percentage of the population who really love their job, and I admire those people who have been able to get out there and chase their dreams. I really like where I work, but it is the people that have made it great, not the actual job itself, not that I dislike that though, but your work colleagues make a job somewhere you don't mind being. After having a few jobs I really hated, and never really clicking with all my work friends, it's been really nice coming here and finding so many people in one team that all (the majority of the time) get on.

I think that films have made living life quite difficult - how often do you see a film you really like and just wish that something like "that" (insert plotline) would just happen in your life? This is especially the case with romantic comedies I think - I mean who knows of ANYONE who has ever met their partner in a 'movie way'? These things don't happen, and you know this, but you still want it to happen and then when it inevitably doesn't, you're still disappointed and then angry at yourself for being so stupid! But I have even sometimes found myself wishing that something exciting/dangerous would happen (say from a thriller or something) that when you think about it, you definitely wouldn't want it to actually happen to you or anyone you knew, but you justify these thoughts by saying at least it would be different, or it would make my life more interesting if just something were to happen.

I'm not writing this in a depressed state or anything like that, despite it maybe sounding that way, it is actually a topic I've thought about on and off in the last few years and find it very interesting and intriguing as we don't often stop and think about our lives and what direction we're heading in, and when you do, it can be quite hard to swallow.

On the whole I think I'd have to say that I like my life but there are definitely many many things I would change if I had the time over, but since we can't, we have to make the best of what we have, and the choices we've already made, even if they're not what we would choose now. So I will continue to try and enjoy my life and fill it with the things I love, like family and friends, but also fun things to do and just try harder at life.   :-)